The lure of curiosity

Beyond enjoying being aroused by erotic writing, I suspect that one reason people enjoy reading it is to find out if the way the erotic affects them is the same for other people. Is what I think of as good sex, good for other people? Answering the question tells us more about ourselves and to what extent we fit in or depart from what appear to be the norms, and if either of those is more desirable than the other. In short, we are curious. What does an orgasm feel like to someone else? Why do some get a sexual thrill from being tied up and fucked, and others not? What is life and sex like in that grey area between domination and rape? 

The problem is that so much erotica focuses on the basic animal responses and don’t involve how we feel about what we are feeling. It is a difficult. challenge. When you are writing an intensely sexual passage, finding a way to explore it without destroying the mood proves a challenge. 

Rewriting erotica, working to get it right, is difficult. Again there is the balance of trying to convey real emotion while capturing her here-and-now response to penetration by a cock that she wants so badly it is clouding her thoughts, or his excitement at finally being inside her and thrilling to having her pull him deeper inside her.

The whys and wherefores have to be layered in delicately, yet without them, all that remains is a sex scene, which can be joyful enough. After all, this is not an attempt to place erotica above porn, but to determine if there are distinctions that might be useful to the writer who understands that cutting sex short in fiction also means omitting a lot of what it means to be human.



4 Comments Add yours

  1. The urge to gamble is so universal and its practice so pleasurable, that I assume it must be evil. – Heywood Broun

  2. LadyDanita says:

    Curious indeed! Well thought out and interesting.
    Found you by way of joining ERWA listing, and I’m looking forward to your insights to help me along this erotic writing quest.


    1. blairerotica says:

      And what a quest it is! Thank you for your comment and welcome to the community.

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